.............is cherished by the wisest men.
Roald Dahl.
Funny Car Insurance Claims.
1. Three women were talking to each other and when two
stepped back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
2. A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him because he gored my
car.
3. One wheel went into a ditch. My foot jumped from
brake to accelerator pedal, leapt across the road to the other side and
jumped into the trunk of a tree.
4. The water in my
radiator accidentally froze at 12 midnight.
5. I was taking a
friend home and keeping two yards from each lamp post which were in a
straight line. Unfortunately, there was a bend in the road bringing the
right-hand lamp post in line with the other and of course I landed in a
ditch.
6. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
haven't
got.
7. I can't
give details of the accident as I was somewhat concussed at the time.
8. I blew my horn but it would not work as it was stolen.
9. I left my car unattended for a minute, and whether by accident
or design it ran away..
10. I was proceeding along the road at
moderate speed when another car rushed out of a side turning and turned
upside down in a ditch. It was his fault as he said.
11 I
started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
12. A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air
and his head went through the windscreen and then rolled off
at the traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off
and miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the
road.
13. I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This
distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
14. Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they
were coming to apologise. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms,
and the first slapped me several times across the face. I knee' d
the man in the groin, but didn't connect properly, so I kicked him
in the shin.
15. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my
girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I
lost control..
16. Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there.
What shall I do about it?
17. I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive
it if I had thought there was any risk.'
18. Q: Do you engage
in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature?
A: I watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
19. First car stopped
suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.
20..'Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
21. The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got
up so I hit him again.
22. We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car
when Miss X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies' loo.
23. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.
24. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.