Sunday, February 19, 2012
What Children Say .....
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
The teacher was unable to continue for the next 10 minutes.
A teacher was teaching first grade remedial reading and they were reading a book about a dog. The dog went to the vet, and during the picture walk they discussed what happens at the vet. One little girl said, "We took my dog to the vet once. She got neutered." Now, the teacher thought she was going to have to explain to the rest of the group what neutered was. No, the girl continued with her story. "It means she can't have puppies. We got my mom neutered too." It took everything the teacher had not to laugh out loud. The teacher says afterwards: "Be careful what you tell your kids at home, because they tell us everything!"
During a school presentation by the local police department about drinking and driving, a five year proudly announced. "My mommy doesn't drink and drive. She only drinks at the stop signs". The mom quickly informed everyone that she was only drinking soda.
History test in 6th grade:
Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
Teacher:: John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Macy: No Mam, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.