What Children say.....................

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

Victor Borge





Sweet and funny quotes from children:

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer

A boy calls his granny to wish her Happy Birthday. He asks her how old she is and she tells him: "62". The boy is quiet for a moment, then he asked. "Did you start at 1?"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"


Kids about Love and Marriage : 
 "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

 "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

 "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8

And here's Erin again.  
 "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8


Kids about Science:
"South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage."

"Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south."

"There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever."

"There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days."

"Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

"Genetics explain why you look like your father, and if you don't why you should."


 Exam and papers of young students:
 "The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense."
 "Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes."

"Milton wrote 'Paradise Lost.' Then his wife dies, and he wrote 'Paradise Regained.

"Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."

 "Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality."

"Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history."

"One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable."

 "In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java."


Have fun!

---

What Children Say.............

 
















One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little gir l raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"


A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus.  

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher. 

 
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

 
On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"


A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said,"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" 


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."




photo: gb
 

What Children say.............

When the driver stopped the school bus to pick up Chris for preschool, she noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" she asked. "Yes, "Chris said. "She's come to visit us." "How nice," the driver said. "Where does she live?" "At the airport." Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

The mother returned from the grocery store, and her small daughter pulled out the box of animal crackers she had begged for. She spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you doing?" her Mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the girl explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

A man was pushing a cart in the supermarket - the cart contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert. Don't scream, Albert. Don't yell, Albert. Keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

A three-year-old girl went with her dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, she breathlessly informed her mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did you know that?" her mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," she replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."


A Mom tells this: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

A five-year-old boy and his playmates had found a dead robin in the yard. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they got a small box with cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The five-year-old was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he had learned in Church. He said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather. And unto the Soonnn.......and into the hole he gooooes."




A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"

The children in Sunday school class were being taught the concept of getting to heaven. Teacher asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. Teacher asked them, "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" Teacher smiled. "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again. Again, they all answered, "NO!" The teacher was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," she continued, "Then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old girl shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."


Mary Anne: No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

Michael: Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.

Allison:  You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Jonathan: You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Steve: The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.







Source: Kids say the darndest things.

What Children say - about School

I've found something for you about the funny kids. The children have now began school after the holidays - they have began school this week here in Denmark - I don't know if it's the same in every country, but nearly almost I presume.
The stuff about kids below shows how their brains work, and I think they are wonderful. I'm sure we could all have selected material from our own children and their friends and from our grandchildren - if only we wrote it down!  But some people write it down for us to see and for us to have a little fun.
So have fun!
Grethe




Just before school begins: 

I' m looking forward to math because it makes me smarter and smarter. I'm not looking forward to recess because I'm afraid I'll be out of energy before I get home.
Molly, 8

I'm looking forward to math. I like numbers. I'm not looking forward to lunch, especially the chicken nuggets. They're usually burnt.
Katie, 8

I'm not looking forward to math and homework because I can't watch TV.
Julia, 7

I'm looking forward to writing in cursive. I want to learn it because I only know how to write my name! I'm not looking forward to a new teacher. My teacher is having a baby so I will have a substitute for almost the whole year!
Kari, 8

I'm looking forward to meeting some new friends. I'm not looking forward to the rules there are so many to remember, and bullies.
Finbar, 7

I'm not looking forward to being bad and getting sent to the principal.
Emily, 8

I'm looking forward to math because I like adding. I'm not looking forward to science because I don't like making stuff.
Kiley, 7

I'm looking forward to seeing my friend Jordan because I haven't seen him all summer. I'm not looking forward to homework.
Nathan, 7

I'm looking forward to going back to school. It's cool. There's nothing I'm not looking forward to. I like it all.
Kian, 12

I'm looking forward to meeting new friends. I'm not looking forward to homework because I have to stay up almost the whole night.
Darian, 7


Proverbs

A Virginia teacher presented each child in her class with the first half of a well-known proverb, a different adage to each child, asking that they complete the adage at home. The following were among the replies she received.

1. Don't change horses - until they stop running
2. Never underestimate . . . the power of termites.
3. You can lead a horse to water but . . . How?
4. Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.
5. You can't teach an old dog new . . . math.
6. If you lie down with dogs . . . you'll stink in the morning.
7. An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.
8. Where there's smoke there's . . . pollution.
9. Happy the bride who . . . gets all the presents.
10. A penny saved is . . . not much.
11. Two's company, three's . . . the Musketeers.
12. Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . you put on to go to bed.
13. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . you have to blow your nose.
14. There are none so blind as . . . Stevie Wonder.
15. Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.
16. If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.
17. You get out of something only what you . . . see in the picture on the box
18. When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.
19. A bird in the hand . . . is going to poop on you.
20. Better late than . . . Pregnant

 History
It has been reported to us that the creativity you read in this box came from an anonymous 6th grade class during various history tests throughout some academic year. If so, we are sure that the names have been withheld to protect the guilty. You might think some enterprising teacher collected these mistakes over a longer period and collated them in the collection below. Even if this is the case, the ring of authenticity from them is true and in perfect tune.

• The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.

• Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

• Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

• Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

• Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

• Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.

Science class:

"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

"When you breathe you inspire.  When you do not breathe, you expire."

"The body consists of ghree parts -  the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u."

" HO2= is hot water and CO₂ is cold water."

"The pistol of a flower  is its only protection against insects."

"A myth is a female moth".

What children say -

 What do children say about summer?

 I've found some stuff about kids and their summer holidays. They are American kids, but they are like kids all over the world, and I think their thoughts and wishes about the summer holidays are the same. The guy Hyder who wants to take his mom with him to Norway because he loves her very much - and the little girl Ashlei, who won't take anyone with her on vacation, because she wants all the chocolate for herself. I think they ar marvellous!



Tiannah, 11, said her best trip was to Vermont, the home of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. In addition to the ice cream, she liked lying on a comfortable hammock and sleeping under the stars.

Sophie, 11, liked her trip to Colorado best because she learned to cast a fishing rod in a wobbly canoe. She also learned the backstroke in the hotel pool.

Hawaii was a favorite spot for a number of kids:
Diana, 11, liked it so much she wants to move there. "I went to the beach, saw snakes, fish, and a sailfish in the ocean, ate great food, got sunburned, and rode in the new rented car we got."

Where you vacation is important, but as kids described their favorite trips, it was the people that seemed to matter most. In fact, more than half of kids said fun people were the most important ingredient — more important than a great place or fun stuff to do.

Mabembe, 12, said her best trip was a couple years ago when her family took a very long drive to Toronto for a wedding. "What made the trip sooo fun was that we drove," she said. "Yes you heard right, we drove! Two and a half days long. I tell ya, it was all worth it because we did it together as a family."

Lucie, 11, said her best vacation was when her family went to Tanzania in Africa. "I went not to have a safari adventure, but a family one. We went because all my family lives there except my mom, dad, my brother, me, and my sister. That was the best part because I could meet my distant family."

Family and friends also were important as kids described where they'd go on a dream vacation. Some kids chose popular vacation spots, but others said they wanted to visit other planets or go back in time!

Jen, 12, wants to visit 1960s. Why? To see the Beatles live in concert. "I am a big fan of the Beatles and am disappointed that I wasn't even alive when they were together. I'd take my parents so they could tell me about the '60s so I would know how to act in a different decade!"

Nina, 15, would take her best friend, Kathy, to the moon so they could float around in zero gravity.
Madeline, 8, wants to take her dog, Captain, on a trip to Saturn.

Megan, 10, would like to take her family and her cats, Marcie and Buster, on a trip to see volcanoes. She'd stop in Hawaii and Yellowstone National Park — two volcanic spots — to get a head start on her career. "I want to study volcanoes when I grow up," she said.

Hyder, 12, wants to go to Norway to see how it stays light for 6 months of the year and dark for the other 6. Who would he take? "My mom because I love her very much."

Matt, 10, says he wants to go to Washington, DC, to see his uncle and to see the new Major League Baseball team, the Nationals. He'd take his family "because they have done so many things for me."

Alaina, 13, says she's always wanted to visit Queensland, Australia. She'd visit the Sydney Opera House and explore Australian culture. Who would she bring? "My mom, dad, and . . . no one else. Ha-ha, just kidding. I'd take along my little brother, too."

It's hard to tell if Ashlei, 10, was kidding when she said she'd take no one with her on a dream vacation to Hershey, Pennsylvania.
 Why go alone? "I want all the chocolate to myself," she said.


























Photo Strands, Mols, 2007: grethe bachmann

What Children Say....

Parents' Sweet and Funny Stories:  

Public Outcry

Ever notice how a 4-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adult voices? 

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karen, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleeping in the guest bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said O.K.
After my next trip several weeks later, Karen and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting,
"Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What is the good news?"
"The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Children in Church

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."

Kissing on the Playground

An honest seven-year-old told her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." 

That Baby in There

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!" 

A Wise Little Girl

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." When the minister spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." 

What Children Say.....

  
I have tried to find something children might say about Easter, but these are funny too! Maybe you know it already! Anyway- have fun!

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

  Casey asked her Sunday school teacher a question: "If the people of Israel are Israelites, and the people of Canann are Canannites, are the people of Paris called Parasites?"
     
  A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
    She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
    A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up!" 



A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.
    "Why, God tells me."
    "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!"

~~~~~~

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
    Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

       An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"    The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

       After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
    "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
    "Well," said the little boy, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."

 One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
     The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."
     "Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
     "Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
     "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
     Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 11:00?"

A six-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

~~~~~~

What Children Say .....

 



One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'"
The teacher was unable to continue for the next 10 minutes.

A teacher was teaching first grade remedial reading and they were reading a book about a dog. The dog went to the vet, and during the picture walk they discussed what happens at the vet. One little girl said, "We took my dog to the vet once. She got neutered." Now, the teacher thought she was going to have to explain to the rest of the group what neutered was. No, the girl continued with her story. "It means she can't have puppies. We got my mom neutered too." It took everything the teacher had not to laugh out loud. The teacher says afterwards: "Be careful what you tell your kids at home, because they tell us everything!"

During a school presentation by the local police department about drinking and driving, a five year proudly announced. "My mommy doesn't drink and drive. She only drinks at the stop signs". The mom quickly informed everyone that she was only drinking soda.




History test in 6th grade:
Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.


Teacher:: John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.

Teacher: Now, Macy, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Macy: No Mam, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.

What children say about Christmas

Letters to Santa from various children: (5-7 years)


I know I behaved badly this year but I promise to behave much better next year so will it be okay if you still come and visit me with presents?

Can Mrs. Santa come instead of you? I'm very sorry but I'm scared of you.

Don't worry if our dog Jack barks.


Mummy will leave out biscuits and milk for you but you have to share with the reindeers as well. They  must be very hungry.

Dear Santa. Hope you have a good life at the North Pole. How deep is the ice?

Dear Santa. Please may I have a Unicorn.
I love you
Jessica


 **************************************************************



Jesus's Mummy and Daddy are called Mary and Jovis.
Debbie, 4.


We celebrate Christmas because Santa comes and gives us lots and lots of presents.
Ben, 7.

The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph look after the baby - kind of like a doctor.
Erin, 6.

I am not really a Christian. I believe in unicorns and pixies.
Ellyshia, 9.

I don't know what presents the wise men brought Jesus, but a Lego set would have been better.
William, 7.

They brought Jesus gold and myrhh, but I would have brought him a nice warm blanket.
Rebecca, 5. 


******************************************************************


Where was Jesus born?

A long way away from Liverpool.
Dominic, 6.


Two boys talking:

Do you believe in the devil?

No, I'm sure it's just the same thing like Santa Claus, it's just my dad.


Happy Christmas time to all of you!
Grethe ´)

What Children Say

"World's Best Mom":

First Moms think it's fun to have children, until they can walk.
Nicolai, 10 years.

My mom never drinks beer, and she never smokes. She is only eating salad.
Firat, 8 years.

I want to have a big bum like you, for then I don't fall down into the toilet.
Julie, 3 years,  to her Mom.


It is not that important to have a TV. Because your parents always want to watch something else.
Kasper, 5 years.

______________________________________________________________________

"Lovely Children":

Mom, if a baby comes out from your stomach one day, then I think we should tell daddy.
Arthur, 4 years.

Look, I think the weather has gone into pieces...
Thea, 4 years. (about rain)

When it is autumn, the trees take off their clothes and people put on their clothes.
Aurora, 8 (about God)

photo: gb

A Smile of the Day....

What kids say:

   A physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!
     Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"


   After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
     At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
     As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"




photo:gb

What Children Say.......

Japan Cherry

I heard about the earthquake in Japan this morning, and recently we have just witnessed the earthquake in Christchurch in New Zealand and read Joan's posts about it.  It seems that the tsunami from the Japan earthquake means a great danger to the coasts of the Pacific. I hope people can get into safety. 
It is like our blue planete is stressed. I  needed to stress off myself. Then I saw Teresa's post with a video clip of Monty Python, which was hilariously funny. A good idea.
There is storm and rain outside today. The waterstriped windows make it dark inside, and I have had light in all my lamps this afternoon. Tomorrow comes the sun.


Well, I found some funny little  remarks from children. 
(translated from Danish).    

 

 













What children say :

Grandma told that when she was little, the girls had to sit with their legs together. Today are people more relaxed, it doesn't matter if you wave a little with your abdomen.

My little brother once asked me what happens when we die. I told him that we'll be buried under a heap of earth, and that the worms will eat our bodies. I think I should have told him the truth. That most of us end up in Hell and burn forever, but I wouldn't make him sorry.

An Old Folks Home is a place, where you keep old people and threaten them to share a room with someone they don't like. They get medicines and hams and each Saturday the have a cake with raisins.
(Lena 5 years)

Eldercare is something the old people have to get used to whatever they like it or not.
(Anna 8 years)

The best thing I like about granddad is that he is himself and does not pretend to be some normal person.
(Per-Ole 6 years)

If the old people could get children that would not be so good. The Old Folks Homes are overloaded already, and imagine, if there were lots of grandchildren and great-grandchildren there too. 
(Johannes  8 years)

God owns the sun. He turns it off in the night in order to save the power supply.
(Nicole 5 years)

Now there is an ozone hole in the sky. Then God's floor is no longer airtight, and this can be a problem.
(Mikkel 10 years)

If you dont want to be married anymore, because your husband maybe is more stupid than you thought, then you can be separated as friends.
(7 year old).

A mother-in-law is the punishment you'll have to take if you marry a person you don't know.
(Poul 7 years)

In the old days they thought that the stork came with the babies.Now they have changed into more modern methods.

In the old days were the sex roles not yet invented. The man did not know that the ladies were just as much worth. Today they are given their mother's milk with teaspoons.

When you get married, you give each other a promise of silence. If you do not keep it, you'll get divorced, and then you'll have to share the lamps and the knives, and usually you do not agree who will get the children. Then you'll have to go to a stock broker. He'll decide that one should have the children, the other will get an extra dinner table.