The stuff about kids below shows how their brains work, and I think they are wonderful. I'm sure we could all have selected material from our own children and their friends and from our grandchildren - if only we wrote it down! But some people write it down for us to see and for us to have a little fun.
So have fun!
Just before school begins:
I' m looking forward to math because it makes me smarter and smarter. I'm not looking forward to recess because I'm afraid I'll be out of energy before I get home.
I'm looking forward to math. I like numbers. I'm not looking forward to lunch, especially the chicken nuggets. They're usually burnt.
I'm not looking forward to math and homework because I can't watch TV.
I'm looking forward to writing in cursive. I want to learn it because I only know how to write my name! I'm not looking forward to a new teacher. My teacher is having a baby so I will have a substitute for almost the whole year!
I'm looking forward to meeting some new friends. I'm not looking forward to the rules there are so many to remember, and bullies.
I'm not looking forward to being bad and getting sent to the principal.
I'm looking forward to math because I like adding. I'm not looking forward to science because I don't like making stuff.
I'm looking forward to seeing my friend Jordan because I haven't seen him all summer. I'm not looking forward to homework.
I'm looking forward to going back to school. It's cool. There's nothing I'm not looking forward to. I like it all.
I'm looking forward to meeting new friends. I'm not looking forward to homework because I have to stay up almost the whole night.
A Virginia teacher presented each child in her class with the first half of a well-known proverb, a different adage to each child, asking that they complete the adage at home. The following were among the replies she received.
- Don't change horses - until they stop running
- Never underestimate . . . the power of termites.
- You can lead a horse to water but . . . How?
- Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.
- You can't teach an old dog new . . . math.
- If you lie down with dogs . . . you'll stink in the morning.
- An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.
- Where there's smoke there's . . . pollution.
- Happy the bride who . . . gets all the presents.
- A penny saved is . . . not much.
- Two's company, three's . . . the Musketeers.
- Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . you put on to go to bed.
- Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . you have to blow your nose.
- There are none so blind as . . . Stevie Wonder.
- Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.
- If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.
- You get out of something only what you . . . see in the picture on the box
- When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.
- A bird in the hand . . . is going to poop on you.
- Better late than . . . Pregnant
It has been reported to us that the creativity you read in this box came from an anonymous 6th grade class during various history tests throughout some academic year. If so, we are sure that the names have been withheld to protect the guilty. You might think some enterprising teacher collected these mistakes over a longer period and collated them in the collection below. Even if this is the case, the ring of authenticity from them is true and in perfect tune.
- The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.
- Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
- Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
- Abraham Lincoln was America's greatest precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation . On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in the moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a suposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
- Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
- Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this.
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"When you breathe you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
"The body consists of ghree parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: a, e, i, o and u."
" HO2= is hot water and CO2 is cold water."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"A myth is a female moth".