Friday, March 18, 2016

What Children say.....................

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.
Victor Borge

Sweet and funny quotes from children:

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer

A boy calls his granny to wish her Happy Birthday. He asks her how old she is and she tells him: "62". The boy is quiet for a moment, then he asked. "Did you start at 1?"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Kids about Love and Marriage : 
 "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

 "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

 "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

"Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8

And here's Erin again.  
 "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8

Kids about Science:
"South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage."

"Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south."

"There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever."

"There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days."

"Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils, while others preferred to be oil."

"Genetics explain why you look like your father, and if you don't why you should."

 Exam and papers of young students:
 "The Magna Carta provided that no free men should be hanged twice for the same offense."
 "Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes."

"Milton wrote 'Paradise Lost.' Then his wife dies, and he wrote 'Paradise Regained.

"Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."

 "Queen Victoria's reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality."

"Without Greeks, we wouldn't have history."

"One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intollerable."

 "In the Olympics Games, Greeks ran races jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java."

Have fun!

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